FAMILY

Welcome to the G's!

We have been happily married since May 2005. We are living in San Diego while Nathaniel goes to seminary and are eagerly anticipating moving back to Peru for mission work. When we aren't studying and working, we hit the beaches or take our dog Bailey for walks.

Thursday July 31, 2008 "Soak City USA"

Doesn't that strike you as one of the cheesiest names for a water park?

Well, yesterday we succumbed to probably one of the most embarrassing things about American life (aside from CSI Miami): Water Theme Parks. I know, I know, shame on us, but we have felt kind of badly that we haven't done too many fun things with the kids lately, and this was sort of a church event (we went with one person from church), and we got in at a great discount, and, well, we didn't have anything else going on. Like so many things in our lives lately, we learned several valuable lessons from this event:

1. Kids under 3 get in free for a reason, as in, there is nothing there for a 2 year old, excuse me, an under 48" person, to do, which means there is nothing for the parents of an under 48" person to do.

2. Same thing pretty much goes for a 5 year old, although you have to pay to get them in.

3. Wear sunscreen because wow, kids sure do know how to hang on to a sore neck and back after the whole adventure is over

4. Simmer diapers are a joke and should be pulled from shelves for false advertising

5. America really is a large nation, as in the people are large, and that is never more clear when they are wearing as few clothes as legally possible

6. Speaking of which, wait until you are starving to get lunch because no matter what, the food tastes amazing.

7. Ignore how gross the ground is and that you and your dear little children are walking around barefoot all over it all day, along with several hundred other people

8. Don't ask why the wave pool is being instantly evacuated, just get out.

9. No matter how long the line looks, it is always longer

10. Every rule at the park will be broken by someone else

11. Ignore the bad omen of the paramedics wheeling a broken neck out of the park minutes after you walk in (5 minutes after it was open)

12. Never ever tell your overly confident friend that you won't go on a ride because you will soon find yourself on the same said ride

13. We realized that we paid a lot of money for the kids to sit in a glorified version of the free pool we have in our apartment

14. At the end of the day when we were wrinkly and sunburned, one 5 year old went home happy and feeling very loved and special for having had such a fun day at the water park. And the 2 year old said "yeah" when we asked him if he had fun, but he says "yeah" to everything, so that didn't mean too much. But he did fall asleep in the car on the way home, so at least he was worn out.

Anyways, we had a great time, and as an added plus, we missed out on the earthquake that was felt all over San Diego because the park is so close to Mexico. I am glad for two reasons, 1. I hate earthquakes and 2. how terrible would it have been to be on a rickety water slide while the earth is rockin' below.

Lois Thursday, July 31, 2008
You are too funny! I've been wanting to go to a water park all summer but you have made me have second thoughts. I love the evacuating the pool and large americans, lol!

Monday July 21, 2008 "Practicing"

Ever since we started dating, Nathaniel has made it quite clear how much he loves camping, and how much he hoped for that to be a fixture in our family life. You see, Nathaniel grew up camping. His family loved it. They had it all down to a science, and he even got more practice when he was in college and went with his friends.

My upbringing was a little different. I can remember one time in my childhood when we went on a real camping trip. It was a blast. Just Dad, Adam and me. I think I was about 7 or so. I actually do remember having a hard time sleeping on the rocky ground, though. As the years went by, Dad expressed his love for camping, and Mom expressed her dis-love for camping, so they compromised and bought an RV. We had the best trips in that thing. A trip down the west coast, Yellowstone, and a "Civil War Tour" which actually really ended up being just cool American places to visit, but we did go all the way to Atlanta. We loved that RV. It was so fun to sit at the kitchen table and play games while Dad drove, or not having to stop to use the bathroom, or my personal favorite, sleeping in real beds.

Oh, and then there was the Jr. year of high school "Health Hike" where I was kind of the laughing stock of the trip because I had zero experience with camping. Although my dad tried really hard to send me off with some great food and supplies, there was just no teaching this old dog new tricks. It was around dinner time, when my mac n' cheese spilled all over the dirt, my tuna was too fishy, and drinking water was leaking everywhere that I realized there was very little I could do to salvage my dignity. Not to mention that my sleeping bag wasn't warm enough, and I really didn't have the right clothes for the whole experience, and don't even get me started on the lack of proper bathroom facilities.

So you can understand my hesitation here when Nathaniel revisited the subject of camping. Hey, I'm all about family vacations and having us get away for a night or so, but I really have a hard time understanding why people like to spend time out in the woods. We've come so far as a developed nation. Why revert back? And don't give me that whole, "it's fun to live simply" because really, we still have to bring all of the modern day conveniences with us. They're just disguised as camping gear because they have the word: "COLEMAN" stamped all over them. But, I've put it off long enough, and now Nathaniel is planning a camping trip for the whole church for next weekend. Families are dusting off their tents, and pulling out their coolers, and we're running around sports stores looking for great deals on the stuff that more established families already have (i.e. a tent). Nathaniel says this is an investment in our future family vacationing, and I simply smile and nod. (how many of these trips are we planning on taking!?) S and D are besides themselves with excitement, and S especially can't wait to go "pamking."

But, they always tell you to practice pitching your tent before you leave. Travelling with such experienced campers that we will be, we decided that this would be a good idea so that 1). we don't embarrass ourselves when we accidentally pitch it upside down 2). fight in front of people 3). don't end up having to borrow a missing stake or something from another camper. Usually this is a good idea when you have a backyard. You get to make a fun memory for your family, while still keepin' it all outside. We don't really have that luxury. So, last night we shoved all of the furniture all over the house, made some space in our living room, and pitched the tent. We learned a lot about our tent last night. We learned that if it doesn't seem like it is right, it probably is not. We learned that you need to trust your instincts when you think the tent is being built inside out. We learned that we will need to keep the kids very busy so they don't add even more tension to the already tense time. Oh, and we also came up with some great pre-marital counseling sessions for when Nathaniel is a pastor; pitch a tent in the heat and still have a smile on your face when its over.

Even though we couldn't completely stretch out our tent to its full capacity, we got the general idea of how it was supposed to go, and realized that when we don't have a kitchen blocking our tent-making, it'll go a lot better. We'll let you know. One thing we realized is that this thing gets HOT. Not sure how we'll feel while sleeping under the stars, but last night, it was a little uncomfortable. Oh, yeah, we definitely slept in it last night. That was the highlight of the kid's lives so far. And it was all kosher because there's like 3 rooms in this thing. Seriously, it is pretty cool. Huge, but cool. I hope we don't feel awkward when we show up with our mansion tent while everyone else has those little army pole and canvas things to sleep under. But like everything that we buy big, "we plan on sharing this with others later."

tina Monday, July 21, 2008
I remember the health hike, and I think that your description of yourself is pretty acurate! I too love camping. We used to go all the time when I was little, before I moved in with Tam and James whos idea of camping is having trees around the house! I can imagine that the kids are really excited about it, and I am sure that there will be fun memories to share afterward. I am so proud of you that you are going into this with a great attitude. Take a camera and enjoy yourself!

Sarah Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Wow, that sounds like one big tent! Definitely not the type you'd want to have strapped to your back for 10 miles going uphill! Now when my dad went camping, he went camping... and that's why at the age of 18 I put my foot down and told him I would never go with him again (long story involving my fear of heights and slippery path going underneath a waterfall with huge drop and measly rope to hold onto...). Hope your camping trip goes well, and hope it's the first of many fun occasions to use that nice big tent you bought ;o)

Friday July 18, 2008 "Summarizing"

S was trying to summarize one of the Adventures in Odyessy stories that we let her listen to as she tries to fall asleep (it keeps her from having nightmares about being taken away), and as she was going on an on, she paused and asked:

"Who is the person who always speaks in church?"
Me: "huh?"
S: "you know, the man, the one who stands up during church."
Me (completely confused by the relevance to her little story): "oh, the pastor."
S: "yeah, the cows in the story went out to live in the pastor."

It made me smile the rest of the way home.

Kjerste Friday, July 18, 2008
Too funny!!! Thanks for sharing. :D

Erika Friday, July 18, 2008
That is hilarious. Adam and I laughed, a lot.

Tina Monday, July 21, 2008
Thanks for your email. That is a precious story.

Thursday July 16, 2008 "Don't Mess"

With an 9 month pregnant dental heigenist.

Her: So, I'm going to take some X-rays of your mouth, and these are kind of big, but I think you'll be okay
Me (thinking): okay, these really hurt. okay, now my tongue is in the worst pain it's ever been. Seriously, how long does it take for her to push a button?"
Her: alright, here, let me adjust this
Me (thinking again): wow, this is unbearable, she just moved it and it's even worse, okay, yep, I'm choking, yeah, mild panic attack comensing, now!" (makes choking sound)
Her: you okay?
Me: yeah, just kind of choking
Her: well, we're almost done, and your mouth is small, so just suck it up. (translation: I'm about to give birth to a small human, and I am currently very uncomfortable, so don't tell me about pain.)
Me (thinking): yikes.
She later told me that this was her last day of work because she was way too uncomfortable. That explained a lot.

Sarah
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Wow, that's a lot of questions!!!

About the talking to strangers thing, Patrick doesn't really talk much to people so what I usually do is if someone says something to him while we're out and about, I will say things to him like, "Patrick, can you say thank you?". I think basic Hi, Bye, thank you, you're welcome is fine under the guidance of a parent, but I've never had too much trouble with him talking a lot, so maybe if I had a little talker I'd feel differently.

I've talked to other mothers about the whole honesty in blogging thing, and I find it refreshing. It's hard when all you see is the rosy side of someone's life, and you tend to think that there's something wrong with you if you don't have it all together like so and so. I think that there are certain things that should not be discussed openly (and I'm sure you can think of things, too!), but that sometimes mentioning downfalls not only helps others who read your blog, but could potentially help you to realize that you're not the only one. I don't think it's good to feel like it's ok to continue to do those things, but it would help to maybe use this as a method of finding someone who can help you with accountability. I think some of the things you mentioned, like feeding kids mac and cheese too often, is something that a lot of people do, and not a lot of people want to admit!!! (Ok, yeah, that's me!!! HERE!!! I DO IT!!!) So, I think there's a balance there... I've heard a lot of people say that they appreciate seeing the real side of a person because it makes them seem more human instead of a perfect person, which one is led to believe if all the see is the wonderfulness going on in someone's life. So that's my 2 cents.

And about the OCD... yeah, that's me and Andrew. However, having kids for almost 4 years tends to wear you out and you get slower and slower at getting everything cleaned up, especially when you have to do it for the millionth time each day. Not to say that we don't still have OCD tendencies, it's just that in our worn out state, we don't have the ability or the time to reach our full potential ;o).

Alex
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Your question about talking to strangers reminded me of a similar situation when I was little. My Mom always said not to talk to strangers. We were visiting Washington and I was out with Grandma. She took me to her office to introduce me and I wouldnt speak to anyone. They were all strangers and I wasnt supposed to. I think she was a little upset or at least frustrated:) My Mom later explained it was okay to talk to "strangers" when your parents/grandparents were with you and said it was okay. I think I would agree with that-the most important thing is not talking to strangers when you arent there to supervise. Simply responding to a comment in the grocery store seems harmless.

Lois
Thursday, July 17, 2008
My kids have never had a problem talking to strangers, they are naturally afraid/shy. I never told them not to talk to strangers, but they know not to ever go anywhere or accept anything from a stranger and to scream like crazy if someone tries to touch or take them. If someone is speaking to them while I am there then I would want my kids to answer and be friendly, especially if I am standing right there. We want them to greet neighbors etc. and be friendly but then again they have the opposite problem of S and D who seem naturally friendly and too trusting?? I guess it depends on the kids.

Tuesday July 15, 2008 "Unloading"

This weekend I got the bug...the cleaning like a mad woman bug. It was pretty serious, like maybe even put nesting women to shame. It all started when I realized that D had more shirts that didn't fit him in his closet than did. So, I pulled out the messy bag of clothes that people had donated to us looking for anything that would fit his ever-growing body. And, one thing led to another, and before I knew it, I was recruiting S to stand there and tell me which toys they still play with and which ones they let sit at the bottom of the toy bin to fall apart. It was quite productive. Once that was done, I figured, why stop there? Hours later, every single cupboard, closet, and drawer in our house had been sorted and mercilessly cleaned out. It was quite liberating. Most satisfying was the way my closet looked at the end of the day. So clean, so organized. So rid of all those old clothes that I never wore anymore. For some reason, I'd even had some old clothes from back in college -- that I hadn't even worn back then. All week I have been walking into my closet and just admiring how clean it looks. It's kind of sad.

But I really would like to take the opportunity right now to admit on blogland that I think as of late, I am kind of addicted to having a clean, organized house. Not that I am terribly good at it, but recently it has kind of become an obsession. I can't stand clutter. I am constantly walking around the house cleaning up after people, and I will not work during the day or sleep at night if our room has clutter in it. But mostly, my OCDness is with floors. I vacuum like 3 times a week (before we got the kids it was like once every two weeks), and on the days I pull out the vacuum, if it hasn't been put away yet and I see a piece of paper on the floor, I vacuum again! And that goes for mopping with my swiffer too. Darn that lavendar vanilla febreeze scent. I just can't get enough of it. And I don't think this is a good thing, please don't think I am bragging here. It is very distracting when I should be working, or doing other chores, or playing with the kids. I feel like some intervention might be necessary pretty soon.

So speaking of admitting our flaws, I have recently been thinking about the, for lack of a better word, fad of "getting real" on blogs after I read a pretty controversial blog post outlining why it was so wrong to do that. In brief, this blogger was particulalry addressing another woman who had posted on her blog 25 things about herself that she wasn't proud of. Things like, that she sometimes sleeps in too long, feeds her kids Mac n' Cheese too often, and grumbles when she picks up her husband's dirty socks off the floor. Nothing too personal or horrifiying, but enough to let us all in on the fact that even though she looked like she had it all together, if you lived with her, you would see that she, like everyone else, has issues.

But this other blogger was very upset by this "fad" because she said that all it did was give that person a way to let out her sins in a care-free manner and give everyone a little chuckle while doing it. She said that it helped other people feel better about their sins and flaws because then others would join in that they too struggle with this, and by the way, here is my list of bad things I do, and basically, it just makes light of the things we should be so ashamed of.

So now, I am thinking about this a lot. I mean, what is the point of blogging and communicating if you aren't going to be real? The most hurtful thing a Christian can do to another is to pretend like they have it all together and that they don't understand someone else's struggles. That being said, what is appropriate to say and admit on a blog, or even just in a conversation? Is it really helpful to unload 25 things that you don't like about yourself? Is that helpful to anyone? I really don't know. What do you all think? I really want to know, and I really don't have a solid opinion on this because I can see how both extremes could be wrong and hurtful, but I don't know if there is a good balance here. Please, give me your feedback (I'll do anything to get comments, won't I?)

And so, to close this novella, I would also like to throw out another question. Okay, so like any human mom, I have taught S not to talk to strangers. (We're still working on that with D, although it isn't really sticking). But, for some reason, maybe because we all seem soo approachable, adults are constantly talking to them. In line at the post office, in the grocery store, all over, they make little comments to them about how cute they are, what a nice skirt S is wearing, etc. And this makes S very uncomfortable because she knows that she is not allowed to say anything to them. So she just kind of looks up at them, then at me, then at them. I mean, that's fine, she's being good, but what gets me the most, is that this Mrs. Stranger, then looks at me like, "What's wrong with your daughter? Doesn't she have any social skills?" All I want to do is shout, "Hello! What era are you from? She is just following the most basic rule that every parent teaches their kids." So, here's my question, how would you/ do you deal with this issue? Or do you have this issue? Or do you just not really mind if they talk to strangers? Or do you teach them exceptions to the rules? I don't want her to be afraid of having human interactions, but well, you get it. Am I being too overly protective here? Should I care if people think S is social and polite?

Alright, I expect some feedback here, people!

[Please use comment box above.]

Friday, July 11, 2008 "Huh?"

S trying to figure out one of life's greatest childhood mysteries, "Sometimes we leave cookies out on Christmas near the fire thing. Santa Cluase isn't real, but, sometimes he still makes his costume for Halloween."

Tina
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Kids have an interesting way of looking at things don't they? Hope you are all enjoying the summer. Do you get time off from school?

Lois
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
That is hilarious! You should make a book of all their cute sayings. I have one for our kids and they love to read it as they get older.
          Nathaniel
            Wednesday, July 16, 2008
            Caleb and Ben had the best ones!

Krika
Tuesday, July 15, 2008.
She is so stinkin' cute.

Friday, July 3, 2008 "Dear June"

I am so sorry to have neglected you. You are such a lovely month, and this year you were filled with so many fun things, but time got away from me and I just wasn't able to blog about you. To be fair, you do have one less day than many of the other months, but still, that is no excuse for my absence. I did try to write about you. Several times in fact. I sat down, would half way crank out a post and then get discouraged and quit, or once I wrote out in entire post but realized that maybe it shouldn't go out there for all the world to read. It's not that I didn't think about you, I just didn't really know what to say, you know?

To be honest, I am kind of glad you are over with. There was just so much that we had planned, and all of it was good and fun and wonderful, but we could all use a break, and your good friend July promises that. We'll see if he follows through. But just to recap, here are a few highlights (big and small) that you offered us:

1. a trip to WA to see Caleb and Kelly get married. We had a blast and saw both sides of the family. The kids were introduced to all of their aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins. It was wonderful. Too bad it rained the entire two weeks, and this CA girl packed like it was going to be in the high 80's the whole time. We'll just let everyone think that every picture we took on the trip was taken the same day and not let them in on the fact that I just wore the same outfit fifteen times in a row.

2. lots of new developments with the kid's case. Although this may not have seemed like a good thing at first , we are thankful at how close their mom is to getting them back. Not because we are ready for them to go by any means, but because we know that this is right for them and God has given us amazing peace about it.

3. visits from Julie and Joey, Grandma and Grandpa, and and Caleb and Kelly (although we weren't here for that last one!) We had such a great time with all who visited. And we are glad we were gone during Caleb and Kelly's honeymoon.

4. friend's babies being born. Always fun to meet new babies.

5. relocating our church to a better building. It is such a treat to walk into the bathroom at church and not want to vomit from the smell like we do at the other middle school building we meet at.

6. Nathaniel preaching. I hear he did a great job. Sadly, D's 24 hour fever whatever landed on the one Sunday Nathaniel was preaching in both English and Spanish. I still have yet to hear him preach in English.

7. Coldplay's new album. Not so much about me, but it is so helpful to have new music to clean the house to. Oh, and they make some great music.

8. Discovering the magical wonder of Swiffer Wet Jets. I am addicted to having a clean, crumb-free floor, mostly because I love using the swiffer and I love the way the fabreeze scent smells. So much better than scrubbing the floor on my hands and knees. Why did it take three years to discover this?

9. having several important work meetings to re-evaluate my job title and tasks. Very eye opening and helpful, although part of me wonders how long I can last as a mom and employee.

10. fun friends who understand me. having more than one heart to heart at my own kitchen table while the kids nap and being able to share all of those great things that mean so much to me and that other people agree with.

So, June, you really were a lot of fun, and overall very good to us. I wish you hadn't just flown by, but we'll catch you another year, I am sure. And next time, could you be a dear and try not to get up into the 100's? That would be really nice. It is so hard to stay pleasant with that kind of heat and no real air conditioning in our home. You understand, I am sure.

Well, until next year...

Krika, Friday, July 04, 2008
I came to your blog to post that you need to post more, because I miss reading about your daily life. I was pleasantly surprised to find a post fresh off the press ready for my reading and enjoyment. You have not let me down...I enjoyed it. Glad to hear everything went well with all visitors, we sure miss you here...wish there was a good seminary in T-town.
Love you lots.

RiLee, Monday, July 07, 2008
Loved this post! Very creative way to go about it :) It made me happy to see that you're back to posting! I checked frequently in hopes to see a new post, and today I was thrilled to read through it! Praying that you all are doing well and are enjoying your month of "rest." ;) Blessings!

Lois, Friday, July 11, 2008
You don't have air condition?! Man, what must have been harsh, with you 100 days too. At least your apartment seems to be located in a shady area.
It seems like Swiffer is all the rage now. Everyone with a dog has one. They sound great.
I missed hearing from you in June, but it was nice to actually see you :)

Saturday, May 31, 2008 "The Art of Not Caring"

Of course I am blogging right now. What else do you do when the house is a DISASTER, the suitcases are very empty, the laundry basket is full, and the kids are being exceptionally naughty today?

I feel badly that I haven't blogged much lately. I think part of it is that I just don't feel like I have much to say. I mean, yeah, big huge new change in our lives, but really, what am I going to blog about besides, "today we stayed home...again. D found more than one way to get into trouble while S pranced around in her princess outfit. I tried to work for a few hours but finally gave up and took the kids to the pool until we all got bored of that too. Then I made lunch, made them go take a nap, then they got up and just as I was done cleaning the kitchen from lunch, it was time for me to make dinner. They splashed around too much during their baths which means another twenty towels to wash, and then D cried when he went to bed."

Yeah, not that interesting on a day to day basis. I mean, I know that some people feel like unless they have kids, they have nothing to say on a blog, but let me tell you, I feel far less interesting than I have in a looong while. Please, don't get me wrong, I LOVE my life right now and I love these kids, but since they have come here I really don't have a social life, I don't have any time for crafts/hobbies, I don't leave the house that often unless I am running errands, and...I just don't really have that much to say. I am not complaining, but I just want to throw this out there: life does not begin when you have kids. A new kind of life begins, but the old one, in a way, is more interesting to blog about. Just my personal thoughts, nothing that is a rule or anything.

Anyways, back to blogging about my kids....

So I have noticed that there is a lot of stuff that I have to not care about when it comes to fostering children. For instance, when I envisioned bringing home a child or baby for the first time, I pictured throwing open their door, a soft choir would sing as the camera panned around the room to an adorable set up. Beautifully painted walls, cute furniture, perhaps a vintage rocking horse in the corner, and everything would match and be perfectly themed for that child.

Ahem. So, it wasn't exactly like that. We had the bare basics in their room. Two beds, white sheets, white walls for that matter, and no rocking horse. That was "letting go" number one. It wasn't long before I had to give up my distaste in the idea of giving my children used clothing (horror), used toys (yikes), used books, beds, and almost everything else in their room. People have been incredibly generous with their donations, and we have been richly blessed. That being said, well, I am sure you get it....

Now, another area I am trying to grow in what strangers think about me. Wow, now that, for some strange reason, is a hard one for me. For instance, when I have the kids alone and I am out and about, I can tell that people think, "aw, what a cute mom with her cute kids," I am sure they say that whole cute mom stuff. And we will be happily floating along in the store, S being extremely charming and D being a boy, and then S will blow my cover with a sweet little, "Flower, look at this!" Blast! Of course, it is my pride getting in the way. Who cares if people wonder why a 4 year old calls me "Flower." But something inside me sinks because for those few moments, to someone else, I was a genuine mommy, and now I am just a babysitter or even worse, a foster mom in their eyes.

But that whole stranger thing doesn't stop there. Since taking in the kids, we have been eligible for WIC, which is the government assisted food program. We get checks each month for a ton of milk, cheese, peanut butter, cereal, juice, you know, the good stuff so kids aren't eating a MacDonald's their whole lives. It is a pretty good deal for us since these items are so expensive at the store, but it is typically reserved for the lower income people. And when I say people, I do mean human beings who for whatever reason, are not able to pay for what they need to get by in life. That being said, there are also some really scary people when you walk into the WIC office...kind of like going to social security. Anyways, so there is this whole stigma on WIC that if you use it, well, something is wrong. And in southern CA where everything costs more than you can pay for, it is surprising that people aren't a little more gracious with the matter. I do wonder why WIC has to make it sooo obvious and tedious to get their things. Unless you go to a WIC store, you can get your stuff at any regular grocery store and the process of using the checks is irritating to the store clerks, the people behind you in line, oh, and the mom of the two kids getting really antsy. On several occasions in using the checks I have blurted out that these are foster kids, but then I just feel badly because no one needs to know about that, and really, why should I feel like I have to justify to them why I use their program? It is hard when people are rolling their eyes and moving to another line, and it is awkward to wear descent clothes and then hand them voucher for free food.

I guess, like most things in life, it is like our Christian life. Not to overly spiritualize this, but I have been thinking about this a lot. I mean, who doesn't feel a little self conscious or inconspicuous when praying in a restaurant, or when their kids start singing "Jesus loves me" or in the middle of the store ask "why does God let people go to Hell," or walking to the car in our Sunday best, or not responding badly to the person who cut us off in traffic. Every one of those things that we do makes strangers wonder about our story and why we act the way we do. But we do those things because that is what we do as Christians. We don't really care what people think about us, and the same needs to be true with me right now as I parent these two kids. No matter what they call me in the store, or how I have to buy their food, I do what I do because that's my calling right now, and who cares what people think.

Sometimes it is fun to have a little secret from people and keep people guessing and wondering what is going on with this family. I mean, who doesn't like to peak stranger's curiosity (as long as they don't ask questions!). Alright, enough pep talking, I really need to pack, actually, better strategy, get one little girl and boy off to bed so I can actually get some work done around here!

Brenda, Sunday, June 01, 2008
I know how you feel about your social life being gone. It is much easier when you only have one but throwing in two you end up staying at home a lot. It can be very boring at times but it is sooooo worth it. I could go on but I'm quite grumpy today because Jonah has decided he has no need for sleep anymore.

Sarah Sunday, June 01, 2008
Having kids is definitely a life change. In some ways we sometimes mourn the loss of freedom that having three kids entails, but so often at the end of the day we will seriously say to each other that our lives must have been so boring before the kids came because just having them around the house can be an endless source of entertainment. I guess we must not have had much of a social life before the kids... i guess we preferred spending a lot of time at home anyways, so there wasn't a huge chance when they came.

I have a hard time with worrying what people think of me and my kids. I get a lot of people making rude comments to me when I go places because I have three boys so close together, and I've had evil glances from lactivists whenever I pull out a bottle. You know, at the end of the day, you're the one tucking these kids into bed, and you know what's best for them. If you need some help from the WIC, it's no one's business, and regardless of any living situation, they're your little ones and no one should make you feel bad or take away the joy you have from caring for them. If anything, people should be admiring you for taking on foster kids... it's not an easy job, and you're doing well, so don't feel ashamed of it. If anything, you're helping the community far more than some of these other mothers who scoff or make judgements without knowing your story. I think that makes sense... I'll step off the soap box now :)

Julie, Monday, June 02, 2008 I know we've had this conversation many times, but thanks for putting some of those thoughts out in the blogosphere. Sometimes I feel like more people would read my blog if it talked about drool, diapers, tantrums, little clothes, play dates, and other baby related stuff. But I don't think I could bring myself to do it, even if we had kids. Thanks for making me feel like I'm not selfish because I don't have kids. And thanks for continuing to blog about you! I love hearing about the kids, but I'm glad it's about your family not just the youngsters. Have a great trip! Can't wait to hear about it.

Dawn, Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Amen to Sarah! Matt and I often think, "Now, what did we do in the evenings before kids?? Life must have been boring!" :-P

And I love the term "lactivists." So true! Nursing is a HUGE soap box of mine -- mainly that people make it out to be some natural, angelic experience. It's not. It's hard work!

Brenda; Thursday, June 05, 2008
I totally agree with Sarah. You need to do what is best for your family. I don't have three close but I have two and I also have experienced many things similiar to Sarah. P.S. Sarah-I have so much respect for you. Your kids are great and you seem to have things under control. I don't know how you do it but it is impressive!

Lois; Monday, June 16, 2008
Thanks for opening up. Parenting is wonderful but nobody lets you know how hard, monotonous and discouraging it can be at times. Now you have to write about how fun your first trip with kids was. Nothing beats being locked up with all the kids while the men do whatever they want..just kidding. At least we had each other to hang with.

Tina, Friday, June 27, 2008
Alicia - the other day Aunt Tam and I were having a conversation with this woman, when Tam introduced me as her ("very pregnant") daughter! It is always funny to see people look at Tama nd genuainly tell her that she does not look old enough to have a daughter my age. Well, she isn't!! And she told me later that she always wonders if she should tell them the story, or just let it go. We decided that she does look good for her age so she should soak it up!! it is nice having that little secret from people isn't it!

Thursday, May 29, 2008 "To Do List"

1. Finish a million things for work before I go AWAL for two weeks while in WA. Don't tell your employer that you are going to be AWAL for the next few weeks, but rather smile and say, "of course you can reach me by phone while I am on my vacation."

2. Eat all of the perishable food in our fridge that I accidentally bought when I planned out our meals for the next few weeks, of course forgetting that we would be gone. Does anyone really enjoy drinking a lot of milk??
3. Give Bailey a haircut so that he doesn't roast or be eaten alive by fleas while he stays with friends. Oh, and buy him some food so he doesn't starve either
4. Somehow find a moment to clean the house. No one wants to come in to a dirty house. This includes sorting through papers that have stacked up over the last, oh, semester...

5. Pack the kid's clothes.

6. Buy and pack fun things for them to do on the airplane.

7. Yes, I just said airplane, they are coming with us!

8. Pack a few favorite toys. Limit them to only a few favorite toys and not the whole toy box. Discourage noise making toys.

9. Don't forget their bathroom stuff.

10. Pack my clothes. Don't overpack. Don't underpack. Don't panick when thinking about packing.

11. When tempted to bring everything, remember that we are traveling to WA, and not to Peru.

12. When tempted to stress out, remember that we want to bring the kids with us!

13. Remember that no matter what you do or don't get done, we're outa' here in 4 days!

Julie Friday, May 30, 2008
I am so glad that kids get to go with you! That will be such an experience for all of y'all. Can't wait to hear about your Washington adventures!

Leslie Friday, May 30, 2008
I just checked into your blog and see you've been parents for almost two months!!! Congratulations! I also see you're coming to WA! If you stop in at YFC, I may be on vacation, because eldest son Kristopher is getting married the 7th!!!! Anyway, I hope I run into you,, but I'm off from the 4th thru the 11th. It's a wild time. Stephen graduates the 6th, rehearsal dinner the 5th...ahhhh. I sooo miss you guys! I loved catching up on you all. Love, Leslie

Sarah Friday, May 30, 2008
Well, you're doing something I've never done... so far, we've never taken more than one child on an airplane at a time. All that will change this summer when we go to DC... 6 hours each way with three kids... oh my...! I'm dreading it already. Isn't it a TON of work to get children packed up for a trip? Even just a weekend to the beach turns into a big deal when you have to make sure you have enough diapers, clothes, extra clothes for when they ruin the ones you brought, toys, food, bottles, sippy cups, pack 'n plays, ... the list goes on and on and on. We end up filling up the minivan every time!
I hope we can get together when you're out... I can't wait to meet the little ones :-D.

Lois Saturday, May 31, 2008
Yeah!! See you guys soon! Bring a white shirt for the kids if you have one. We want to do a matching picture.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008 - "3 Weeks and 3 Years"

I can't believe that it's only been three weeks since the kids came to live with us. Of course "21 days" sounds way too long to be true, so I guess time just doesn't make sense to me anymore. It is so amazing how much we have bonded with these little ones in such a short amount of time. D I think has had an easier time bonding with us, he calls me "mommy" and seems to be over the hump of his sleeping issues. He is constantly asking where "Cha Cha" is when Nathaniel is at school, and the other night the only way to get D to fall asleep was to let him talk to Nathaniel while he was studying at the school library. He never cries for his mommy at night, even after visitation days, which is a huge relief to us since we had no way of comforting that need. S too has really bonded with us. Recently she's been accidentally slipping and calling me mommy, and her bedtime prayers, which used to be all about keeping her family safe at home, are now also including thanking God for us and telling him how much she loves us. It is enough to melt our hearts, really. S is also really understanding a lot about Christianity. We've been teaching her the children's catechism, and she knows about 6 of them. We read them stories from "The Jesus Storybook Bible," which is an absolute MUST for Christian families. I cannot endorse this book enough, you have to check it out, and S is so captivated by the stories, pictures, wording, everything. But what has captured her attention the most is the idea of Heaven and Hell. A few weeks ago she sat in on youth group when Nathaniel was talking to the kids about the Rich Man and Lazarus. Although this message was intended for 10+ year olds, S heard every word and kept asking us about where Lazarus ended up. We have been explaining to her that if she loves God and loves Jesus and asks Jesus into her heart, she can go to heaven to be with Jesus, God, and Lazarus. Well, the other night, without any prompting, while she was praying before bed, she told God how much she loved him and asked him to be in her heart! We could not believe it. Ever since then she talks about how excited she is for heaven and how she can't wait to be there with God. She even reminded her grandma and mom in there visit yesterday that they need to pray for their food before they eat it. Bold little girl! We are just so amazed at what the Lord can do. In our own human silliness, we have been teaching them about God and hoping that some of it sticks, but we did not have the faith that God could do such a work in this little girl's heart. Only He knows what the outcome will be in the future, but we pray that the seeds that have been planted here will flourish into a beautiful heart that serves the King for the rest of her life.

We were also humbled last week when a local church made an announcement that we needed clothes and toys for the kids. We were stunned at how many people stepped up to give us bags and bags full of toys and clothes. They are so well dressed now, and they actually play by themselves for a few hours each day because they have so many toys to keep themselves busy! Can you believe that some people even went out and bought clothes for children they had never met? It is amazing how God uses the church to encourage and strengthen others.

So things are going really well. We still have no idea how long the kids will be with us, sometimes is so hard to just not know. Every night that I tuck them into bed I wonder if this is their last night with us since things are so up in the air right now. The 19th is a pretty important day for decision making, and from our understanding, it will determine if the kids go somewhere else that day, or if they live with us 'till around October. You can imagine how nerve wracking that is! Thankfully Adam and Erika come the day after so we will either have a wonderful distraction from being sad, or we'll have to stuff two more people in our little place! I think one thing that has made the change in all of us was Nathaniel and I coming to terms with the fact that these kids are going home. We were holding on to them in a way that was unhealthy and unhelpful, and I think the kids sensed that. Even though it was never verbalized, there was an unspoken competition between the birth mom and us, like who was a better parent, or something, like that mattered. But we have let that go. Every good thing that S tells us about her mom helps us know that the kids will be in loving hands if they go home. We are doing what we have been called to do right now: love and care for these children unconditionally and teach them about Jesus. Placing these kids into God's will has been the best thing for our little family.

Tomorrow also marks an important day in the life of the Gutierrez Gang. Our 3rd anniversary. Wow. Has it only been that long? I feel like I have known Nathaniel forever, like he has always been a part of me. I truly cannot imagine life without him. He is just the best husband, the best "cha cha" (which sounds a lot like "daddy" when D says it), the best friend, companion, everything I needed to walk through this life with.

It is so interesting to think of what has happened in our last year of marriage. And since I love lists, here is one of the significant things that have happened to us this year (in no order of significance or date):

- traveled to Hawaii, Atlanta, Alabama, Tacoma
- one of us got our first speeding ticket (in a Podunk (non Demopolis) part of AL)
- moved to a new apartment closer to everything we love about So Cal
- hosted lots of family, including one special member for a whole summer
- one of us had surgery
- decided to adopt
- turned 26 years old
- became parents
- made new friends
- fled some wildfires
- hosted our first garage sale
- gave away our first pets, a pair birds (which died like a week later, we heard)
- picked up some new hobbies
- hosted some parties
- did I mention became parents?

Well, it's been a great year, and I am so thankful that we get to start another one and add that to this happy journey that we are on together. I love you, Mr.!

Alicia Friday, May 16, 2008
yay, the comments are working again!

Sarah Friday, May 16, 2008
Happy Anniversary!
Thanks for the recommendation on the Bible Storybook... we're always on the lookout for good Christian books for the boys.

Kjerste Saturday, May 17, 2008
Glad things are continuing to go so well. Congrats on the Anniversary!

RiLee Monday, May 19, 2008
Hey Guys! Just wanted to let you all know that Alex and I are praying for you all today...please let us know how it turns out! Blessings...

Dawn Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Congratulations, you two! One full year of life leading to many more. God is so good to give us abundant life in Him when we deserve none of it. Enjoy each other!

Dawn Monday, May 26, 2008
www.onestepahead.com for the diaper pail deodorizers. :-)

Monday, May 5, 2008 - "Seriously?"

I was going to title this post, "And it's only Monday," but then I realized that this would imply that I get weekends off, and that is definitely no longer the case. But, the Gutierrez household has certainly had "a case of the Monday's" today. Hmm, where should I begin...

It all started when I overslept my alarm. This is not an unusual thing, mind you, but every night I go to bed optimistic that the next morning I will wake up on time, with plenty of early morning hours to get some work and chores in before the kids wake up. Nope. I didn't even sneak in a shower before D was toddling in our room ready to start the day with lots of smiles.

Then we looked out the window and saw what a grey, cold day it was, which as I have stated before we had kids how much I enjoyed such days, but now, well, now that just means that four people are grumpy rather than two people are snugly. That and each kid only has one pair of pants, which thankfully, we had not even torn off the tags so they were nice and clean, for about half an hour.

Since it was visit with bio mom day, I wanted the kids to look presentable, and certainly appropriately dressed for such a cold day, especially as the visits are always in the middle of a park. So, I dressed them in their cutest and went about sorting some of the new toys they were given yesterday at church. I so appreciate people's donations, and have such a thankful heart, but getting that much new stuff is a little stressful. Call me a control freak, but I just like to know what kinds of toys they are getting and if they are clean enough for my children to handle.

So, as I was divvying up the toys, I sent him into time out because he was being bad. And of course, D was too quiet. I went to check on him, and when I couldn't see him anywhere, I knew exactly where to look. The forbidden closet. D has gotten into the habit of going into our bedroom closet, going through my purse, and then squirreling things away in his special hiding spot (behind the laundry basket which is in a hidden corner of the closet) for later. Sometimes when I find him in there his mouth is full of stolen gum, sometimes he is eating a snack that he found in my purse, but today, he was head and arms first in his secret spot, about to climb in and enjoy his stolen snack of Teddy Grahams. As much as I wanted to laugh, I was also really irritated. Seriously?? He knows that this is a no-no, and he knew he was being sneaky. Why else would he be hiding the crackers. So I picked up the guilty faced boy, put him in another time out, and waited until he could say sorry. I hate time out, by the way. It feels so ineffective, but at the same time, D does cry when he is left alone, so I think it is still punishment. But, I don't really feel like talking about punishments right now, so I digress. Where was I, oh, so as he was in time out, I went to work cleaning up the crackers and realized we would need a vacuum for this situation. So, I called our trusty 'ol vacuum, Bailey, over and he humbly obliged to take care of the situation. I am convinced that every home with children needs a trusty dog to clean up the crumbs. I really don't know what moms do without them. Was it the Jetsons who had a dog for a vacuum, or was that the Flinstones? Wait, I think the Flinstones had a dinosaur for a vacuum, but the dinosaurs were supposed to be their version of a dog, so I guess it was kind of the same thing.

Anyways, top that morning off with a visit with mommy, which is always fine until they have to say good-bye, and N and I are worn out. That might have something to do with the colds we have all gotten this week. First it was S, then me, then D, and now N is feeling it come on. I used to wonder why moms were always so sick, but I now know. You can't resist giving the little ones kisses -- even if they are sniffling. In fact, that's when you want to cuddle with them the most.

I have a whole slew of chores to do, which include making our bed, but of course, the little one is fast asleep in there, so no bed making for me. I am also amazed at how quickly this useless day has gone by. So far, all of my best laid plans have gone to waste, and I have not been able to accomplish much, although I did pay a lot of bills and manage to sneak a blog entry in, so I guess that isn't too bad.

I really had not intended for my blog to become all about the kids, but I honestly don't have time for much else. Really, what else can I talk about. Hmm, oh, Nathaniel and I had a one hour date at Starbucks during the kid's visit, and that was wonderful to be alone with him. Haven't done that in 13 days. We laughed a lot. And, yeah, we mostly talked about the kids. And, um, yep, that's about it. Sad. Oh well, it's worth it. Its gonna be really hard when these kids go home. I don't know what I'm gonna do with myself then.

Julie Friday, May 09, 2008
So precious! People always talk about how the first few weeks of parenting are the hardest...and you have it times two! And your new additions don't just sleep, eat, and need diaper changes; they move, talk, play, and apparently sneak. Keep on trucking, Team Gutierrez! We're praying for you guys!

Dawn Thursday, May 08, 2008
Your Monday is my today. :-P These kind of days are the ones that I praise the Lord He created night time and sleep -- gives everyone a break from each other and from life! Target brand diapers...they work just as well as name brand and are HALF the price.

Erika Wednesday, May 07, 2008
You're it.
Love you...cute post! You're such a mommy now.

Kathie Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Remember:
Proverbs 16:9 The mind of a man (or in this case woman)but the LORD directs his(her) steps.
Remember the Lord is sovereign over children falling in the bathtub, sneaking into the closet for teddy graham, visits to bio moms etc. He is stretching your faith and teaching you. Many times I saw myself in my children (as in I behaved alot like them in my relationship with my Heavenly Father)What a blessing you are to these children, you maybe be the conduit of the Lord to effect their salvation :)

Tina Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Remember that, "The best laid plans..." It sound like, although you may be exhausted, you are doing a wonderful job. These two little ones could not have asked for better interim parents! God bless you guys, and enjoy your stolen moments (or hours!) as just husband and wife, as they probably don't come often with two kids in the house. They are a blessing from the Lord.

Sarah Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Alicia, that sounds like every day at my house! Yup, just as I wrote that, Patrick hit the baby! It's a crazy life being a stay at home mom, and of course the one day that you want them to look their best, they get outside and get all muddy or find a magic marker and scissors and wreck havoc on their clothes. I just couldn't imagine not having them though... life would be so uneventful and boring if I didn't have them to keep me constantly on my toes! Enjoy every moment of it! It's easy to get upset at everything they do now, but someday you'll be laughing ;o) Patrick did that, too, by the way! I was scared out of my wits when he did it, but I find it kinda funny now!!!

Friday, May 2, 2008 - "8 days and still standing"

Well, barely.

Just kidding.

We are really loving being parents and how fun it is. These kids are so smart and so cute and already have our hearts. We love that we can teach them about Jesus and how to pray, and recite the children's catechism. We love that we can take them to church, feed them healthy meals and put them in a clean, warm bed at night. It is a joy to be with them, and although it is hard work, there are moments when I just can't believe these are OUR kids! (for now, at least).

Tonight is a good night for me to blog about the kiddos. We had an exceptionally easy day with them, and an even easier night (so far, it is only 10:40, after all). They were very happy and obedient today (well, except for when we were at Target and I saw D was playing with something in his stroller. When I asked what it was he hid it behind his back. I really have no idea which article of clothing he pulled the giant black button off of, but for what it's worth, I am sorry, Target store clerk, and I did take the button away from him as a punishment). We can tell that they are starting to bond with us. I think it is a little harder for S. Although she is more articulate, and therefore more affectionate and sweeter, she says things that make us realize that it is in her mind that she will be reunited with her mommy. We don't know when, or if ever, so that is a hard one to talk about with her. D calls me "mommy" but still calls out for his other one from time to time. I am no child psychologist, but I know their little minds must be so confused.

Our biggest issue is bedtime. Remember the movie "I am Legend" when Will Smith's alarm would go off around sunset and he would get all panicked and race home because the evil zombie monsters come out at night? Yeah, we can relate. Around 6pm, we start to get this doomed feeling in our stomach, and by about 9:30 we are so worn out and discouraged and feeling really awful about ourselves and our lack of patience with our two year old boy. We have all of the reasons for why he is doing this down pat, it's trying to find a solution that is so difficult. Its that whole being certain that he doesn't win, and that we do that is so stinkin' hard. It's being very aware of the habits we are trying to instill in him now and feeling guilty when we do things slightly unconventionally. And just when we are so worn down and feel like we can't take it anymore, morning comes, the sun rises, and our little children are so cute and snugly and really happy to see us. And so, our hearts melt and we press on towards another day, making the most of the time we have with these little ones.

But like I said, tonight's been a good night.

Oh, and I am officially in love with Dora the Explorer. Who knew one little Spanish girl could captivate children so well. And yes, I am the kind of mom who lets the television babysit her children for an hour or so when she needs a little break to get chores done. I'm new at this, so sue me. Oh, and we also have corn dogs in our freezer (gasp!!)

I am also in love with:
Green foam soap that makes the kids enjoy washing their hands
Plastic little kid place mats
Velcro sandals
Water wings
Sippy cups
fruit snacks
libraries
washable markers
pull ups
Big Lots
$1 section at Target
Tot locks
Baby gates
animal crackers
teddy grahams

I am not so in love with:
playdough (yep, you were right, Mom, to never let us have it)
messy breakfast times
messy lunch times
messy dinner times
random puzzle pieces on the ground
toys that don't get played with
the green foamy soap that makes the kids want to wash their hands. And the sink. And their arms. And then wipe the green foamy soap all over the white towels. That's if they don't see the green foamy pile on the ground under the sink
bubbles that get opened and spilled on the living room couch
oreos crumbled in the tea party set
overly agile and strong children who can move or climb anything to get to the bananas on the microwave
finding banana peels in the drawer and an empty animal cracker bag in the dishwasher...at 8 in the morning.
feeling guilty when the washer/dryer isn't running because there is so much laundry to do. mostly towels. we are washing a lot of towels these days.

We are adjusting well to this new life. It's so fun, and it's so rewarding, especially when they are smiling and happy. These are already happy kids, but we can see them becoming even more joyful, which makes us so proud of them. Life couldn't be more different, but it couldn't be any better either.

Thanks for all of your words of encouragement and love and I am sorry if I've neglected to respond to your phone calls or emails. I am adjusting, I really am. Can you believe I was so caught up on stuff that I was actually a little bored for about 30 minutes this morning?? Don't worry, I spent the time wisely calling Erika. It was nice to talk to an adult in the outside world.

And so, to close this post, I'll leave you with a little S story.
We were at Target today when we passed a middle aged woman with a cast from her arm to her sholder and it was in a sling. S asked a little too loudly, "what's wrong with her?" After we had a safe enough distance between her and us, I explained to S that it was rude to say those things, and these are things we should only think, not say. A little while later we were still in Target and a really greesy haired woman walked by with her hair in a dishovled bun on the top of her head. S. piped up loudly, "look at her hair!" Again I was very embarrased and reminded her not to talk about people because that is rude. She instantly pointed up and directed my attention to one of the store signs with a long and gray haired woman in a field of flowers. Right, whoops. Look whose got the rude mind now.

There's plenty more where that came from.
Stay tuned.

Brenda; Friday, May 02, 2008
Alicia,
I am so happy for you!! I am glad you are enjoying life with two. If it makes you happy we have a difficult time with our two year old going to bed also. It is quite exhausting and hard but consistency is the key. It may take awhile...as I'm learning 2 year olds are very strong willed. We will continue to pray. If you ever need any advice feel free to call 614-402-7761.

Julie Friday, May 02, 2008
Precious little lambs! And is it wierd that I love all of the stuff on your "things i love" list and I have no children? Well, I have no experience with pull ups...but otherwise.
Once I was shopping with a 3 year old (yes, I hang out with toddlers), and she asked me with genuine and loud concern why an overweight woman we passed was "SO heavy"... it was tough to know how to answer that one. Kids, they're inquisitive little buggers. Can't wait to hear more about yours!

Lois Saturday, May 03, 2008
Those are great lists. I'm amazed at how quickly you found all the right things. It would takes me months to discover those kinds of "fun things" and then I would wonder why on earth nobody ever told me about them. It is just going to get better and better from here. Can't wait to meet them.

Tina Saturday, May 03, 2008
Kids say the darndest things, don't they?!? I forwarded AUnt Tam your last blog post andx we were both discussing how exceedingly proud we are of you and Nathaniel - it is a wonderful calling to parent those whose parents can't - even if it is just for a short while. We would both love to see pictures and hear more, so please email when you have a second...mrslefebvre@hotmail.com. I will not be offended if the kids are fifteen before this happens, I realize that your life is not your own right now, and finding time is hard!! God bless you four, Love Tina

Leanne Saturday, May 03, 2008
I totally know where you are coming from with the two yr. old side of things. We struggle with the whole bedtime thing too! I am still very much learning myself, but if you ever need some "advice" or just some encouragement let me know. It is always good for me to be able to consult with other moms going through the same stuff, and it helps to keep my sanity. Praying for you guys.

Erika Saturday, May 03, 2008
I am so glad that I got to talk to you the other day, I know I was a little pre-occupied with the boys..but I was glad to catch up! I love the stories! Keep 'em up when you can...you're doing so well as it is! Just think, a little over a week ago they didn't even know you and now they love you! You've gotta be doing something right. Love you.

Dawn Saturday, May 03, 2008
You've made my heart happy tonight. :-) It is so fun to think of you going through this experience! I can totally see you enjoying your frazzled days with those kids...and frazzled is normal, and yours seems to be the good kind. Press on, Sister! And like other comments, feel free to contact me if you want to chat!

Friday, April 25, 2008 - "And then there were four."

Well, it finally happened, children have inhabited our home. Yes, that's right, children. Not child, not baby, but two of the most adorable, sweet, well behaved children you could have ever imagined. (we were shocked when they told us that this time it was for real) 4 year old S. (a girl), and 2 yr. old D. (a boy) came to live with us last night, and so far we have loved being parents (for 48 hrs.) Of course, this is more of a fostering situation than adoption, and reunification is likely, but we are not sure of how quickly. Th Playdough

ankfully God has given us the peace and love we need to minister to these kids while they are in the most difficult situation of their little lives, and we couldn't think of a better place for them to be than with us!!

But since I can't post pictures of them online (email me if you want us to send you some!), let me just tell you, these kids are ADORABLE!! We couldn't have imagined getting cuter kids, and we aren't just biased, everyone who sees them says so. They are happy, healthy, athletic, funny, SMART, respectful, polite, outgoing, and extremely tender towards each other. The only way to sum them up is: delightful.

That's not to say these past 48 hours haven't been without trials. They tend to break down at night with intense sadness as they miss their old life. It breaks my heart to hear the things they say as they cry. I cannot imagine the confusion and pain in their hearts during these times when it feels like their mom should be tucking them into bed, and yet some stanger is. It is such a pain-filled cry that makes me want to comfort them, and yet I feel totally helpless. It is getting better, though. Tonight S prayed for every member of her family by name, and then I did the same, and that really seemed to help her feel more calm. D has a lot of trouble sleeping by himself, but that also seems pretty normal for 2 year olds. We are experimenting, learning, and willing to try new methods for getting them into a good routine that will help all of us stay sane!

And, of course, we've had great times together too, actually most of it is wonderful. We made a mad dash through Target the other night as soon as we got them Playdough yellow

. They had no clothes. We had no toys for them. So we picked out a few outfits and toys. Let me tell ya, nothing brings out a kid's personality more than when you are asking them to help you pick out their clothe and toys. It was hillarious. S tells funny jokes and makes very interesting observations about the world around her. She also has "good ideas" for instance, this morning she woke up with the suggestion that we go to the park today and then get icecream. We did oblige and go to the park, there wasn't time for the latter. D follows along with conversations and picks up much more than you would imagine. They love being read to, taking baths, and eating pretend food. They are getting more and more comfortable around us, and feeling more free to let us know what they need. They have just the right amount of energy (as in not too much but are still fun), and they aren't picky eaters either (and even if they don't like something, they are willing to try it and are pleased) I really don't know how we got so lucky on the first round. If nothing else, this is a wonderful way to begin our adoption journey.

So, life couldn't be anymore different right now. The kids get along great and really entertain themselves, so I dont' feel too overwhelmed in that aspect, which is nice, but I've never been so tired or done so much laundry in one day. I felt like the whole day was spent cleaning up after them, and all the plans I had for tonight after they went to bed wer

e pushed aside because I can barely keep my head up. Our bathroom now has little toothbrushes and green foam soap, and we are now the proud owners of a diaper genie. We've had to change some of our more immediate plans, like this weekend, and I have had more urges today to randomly go out alone with Nathaniel than I have ever had. Hmm, maybe it is the whole wanting something that you can't have thing. I do wonder if I'll ever get to curl up with a magazine again, or lay out by the pool, or work on my half-finished sewing projects, or for that matter, work on my job, but in light of how great those kids are, all of those things seem pretty petty.

Oh, and for the record, Nathaniel will here on out be known in our household as "Cha Cha" "because he's so funny" and I'm, well, "Flower Girl." Yeah, we need to work on that one.

Nathaniel: Still trying to figure out how being funny relates to "Cha Cha"!

Mamacita Linda, Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Heelarious, Beano. That's my comment on your observation of "Cha cha". However, Alicia's informe is wonderful and helps to imagine what life is like with those 2 precious kids.

Jackie Bechtel, Friday, April 25, 2008
Hi Guys! Wow! How wonderful and what an exciting time. (Your recent facebook comments compelled me to look up your blog here. :)) We are praying for you and excited for you, and would love to see some pictures!
Nathaniel--does "Cha Cha" maybe sound like, "Ha Ha"? Just a thought.
Jackie

Dawn Friday, April 25, 2008
A double dose of kid without starting at the baby phase and working up to 2 and 4? Now THAT is adventure. :-P
The only other run-in to a Cha Cha that we've had was a little white poodle that lived above us with a Ken & Barbie type couple in Jackson. I vote to change the name as well!

Lois; Friday, April 25, 2008
Hey! It was fun talking with everyone last night :) I think you guys are doing a great job! They are soo blessed to have you in their lives. I love the toothbrush pictures, soo cute.

Kjerste; Friday, April 25, 2008
We're so excited for you! Enjoy every moment!
Oh, and don't worry: you do eventually adjust to not sleeping or getting out alone. It just takes a little time!

Julie; Friday, April 25, 2008
Wow! That's all I can think of to say! I'm impressed that you found time to blog in the middle of the madness...you are a superwoman! Keep all of us eager readers posted. Much love to you!

Katy; Saturday, April 26, 2008
YEA!! How wonderful. I love hearing about your adventure and blessing, and those two children are extremely fortunate!

Tina; Saturday, April 26, 2008
The Lord could not have placed these two precious little ones in better hands. I will keep you all in our prayers - but take it from someone who has been a little bit on the other side, adoption is a wonderful and amazing calling. God bless!

Saturday, April 19, 2008 - "Hi, my name is Alicia, and I'm a closet stalker"

So, I've been thinking about the nature of blogs and blogging for a few days now, ever since I read a blog that basically blasted people for reading blogs of others who they do not know, even if you followed a link from a friend's blog. (ironically, I did not know this person, so I won't provide you with a link to their post). It is funny because a blog is such a personal thing, the in's and out's of you and your family's life, and yet it is on such a public place that virtually anyone who has internet access can stumble upon and read it, pretty much without your knowledge. And there are such a variety of blogs out there that if you look hard enough, somebody's blog will peek your interest, even if you have no idea who this person is. Some people love having their blog being read by strangers. Others password protect their blogs so only a select few can read it (those ones always annoy me because I'm too shy to ask for the password, and yet I want to see what's going on with them). Some people put their blog on a public RSS feed that anyone can have access to. I guess it all depends on how private you are and how much you want to expose on your blog.

It is obvious that the world we live in thrives on electronic communication. Really, I don't know how the post office stays in business. And in a world of facebook and blogs and myspace, a world where we can move on from high school and college and summer camp and still "stay in touch," it's no wonder that people are reading each other's blogs, even if they don't really stay in touch with that person (and by stay in touch I mean ever call or email). I mean, how nice is it that you can "become friends" on facebook or stumble upon a blog of that girl who sat in front of you in Math 101, find out what's new with her, and then move on. This is the time of life when we're all getting married, owning houses, having babies, and getting new careers, and so much is changing that is it interesting to hear what's new with people who you really wouldn't normally take the time to sit down and actually talk to them. I guess the argument could be made that unless you are really willing to stay in touch, you have no business hearing what's going on in their lives, but there are a lot of people out there who I did care a lot about in a former phase of life, but really don't have the time or energy to keep up with them. And that's when I start the stalking.

I mean, think about how many tv shows you are absolutely addicted to. How many of those characters do you actually know personally, and yet how interested are you in their lives and what is going to happen to them. We thrive on drama, whether great or small. We love to know what's going on with people in and out of our lives. If we didn't, Us Weekly, In Touch, and People Magazine would all go out of business, and the writer's strike wouldn't have bothered anyone.

Personally, for me, I get so excited when random people to read my blog. I mean, what an honor! The fact that a complete and total stranger finds my boring life so interesting that they are willing to read it in the middle of their busy schedule is kind of flattering. Or that someone who I knew a long time ago can't take the time to reconnect, but still cares how I'm doing, wow, now that's nice!

I guess what I'm really doing is excusing the fact that probably 65% of the blogs I read are of people who I don't know, or who I barely knew at some point in life. Do I feel like a stalker when I read these? YES! Do I hope they don't have their little map tracker on their blog? YES! But so much of the time I get so many great craft ideas, or Biblical/Spiritual training, or just a good laugh out of other people's stories, that I can't help but come back for more. I do wonder if it's just me, or does everyone feel like unless they get a personal email from the blogger themself advertising their new blog, they have no business reading it?

So, the questions I pose to you, friend, family, or stranger is: how many stranger's/distant acquaintances' blogs do you read? And would you be worried or upset if you discovered that a stranger was reading your blog?

Julie; Saturday, April 19, 2008

Ha! I think most of the blogs I read belong to people I used to know or strangers; like your sister-in-law (Hi Erika, I'm Julie, I read your blog, good luck with the move). Kjerste, Leanne, and Sarah, you all have beautiful kids! And Tina, I agree, people are way to into giving unsolicited advice. I'm a total stalker and I'll admit it (maybe we need to join a support group)! And since I stalk, I don't mind being stalked. So, feel free to read my blog whoever; if I'm willing to post something on the internet, I suppose I run the risk of anyone and everyone reading it.

Angela; Sunday, April 20, 2008

hey sweet friend,
I think you ask some good questions here. hmmm.... I'm still thinking about a lot of this stuff myself!
But, let's take the present example: here I am, 5:03 a.m. ET, and I can't sleep. Because of distance and sociological issues, I can't just run upstairs to knock on your door to see if you are still awake. And yet, I can stumble upon your blog and feel kinda like you are here with me....
Ideal? no. Good? yeah, I think so. :)

Lois; Sunday, April 20, 2008
Man, I think you are a total stalker!!! J/K I mostly just read family and friends blogs. I don't even know how to find random people's blogs, but maybe I should start by reading your friend's links...hmmm....

Erika; Sunday, April 20, 2008
Adam and I talk about this very subject a lot. He's always telling me what I can/should put on the blog and what I should avoid. Since one day when Adam went into his boss' office and Adam said "oh Erika already got a job" when the response came "I know I read her blog" YIKES! So, since my blog somehow got on the desk top of Mr. Anderson...we've been realizing how important it is to use the blog for good talks/ updates.

But, I love snooping. I've found college roommates that I haven't talked to in almost 5 years, and that's fun! Seeing their kids and what they've been up to.
And I like reading strangers blogs, because it really makes me feel as though I am not the only one with weird feelings, and struggles to get the house clean etc.
Julie, nice to meet you! What is your blogs name?

Sarah; Sunday, April 20, 2008
I randomly visit strangers' blogs every now and then, and there are a few that I go back and visit every now and then. I typically don't mind most strangers or old acquaintances visiting our blog (Hi, Julie!), there have been times when I've wanted to put a password on our blog because I was getting upset over a certain someone (no one you know) using our blog as a way to compete with us and compare themselves, which was really irritating. So far... no password, but every now and then I get frustrated and threaten to do it. If we ever do, I'll make sure to let you know what it is ;o).

Tina; Sunday, April 20, 2008

What an interesting topic!! I find blogs a very interesting way to "keep up" with friends and family when I otherwise don’t have the time to call and chat or email. I wouldn't really call it stalking, but maybe it is weird. Really I would never be able to find out all about a strangers life - unless of course I could read her diary - and now the internet has made that very available. I do like having the opportunity to keep people in prayer and thoughts who I dont normally talk to. I enjoy readin about you and Nathaniel and learning how to pray, even though I am never kind enough to call and tell you that I am thinking about you. And now I must ask - who are you Julie?? And I have to have your blog!

Alex; Monday, April 21, 2008

Well...I guess I will confess that I "stalk" your blog. Funnily enough I am both a stranger and family. I am Alicias' cousin, but we truly barely know each other. It is interesting to be able to get that small glimpse into someone elses life but not have to share any of your own. Sometimes you just dont have enough in common or the time/energy to reestablish a relationship, but you can keep up with how the other person is doing by checking their blog. I dont have a blog, but I probably wouldn't mind friends or strangers anonymously reading. It seems like the perfect solution to "keep in touch" without really having to. Or should blogging relationships be two-sided? If you read theirs, they read yours. It seems sad though, that we would rather spy from afar than just call or email. And I am sorry I dont have a blog for you to read as you must feel slightly exposed without any reciprocal window into my life. If I start one-I'll let you know, and it wont have a password.

Jess; Monday, April 21, 2008

Hey Alicia! I am so excited to find you through the world of blogging! I agree with you - it is so fun to be able to keep up with people you really care about but don't hardly have enough time to keep up with those living near you much less all the people who live out of town - or across the country. You are welcome to check out our blog anytime. I found you through your comment on Erin and Jason's blog. I am excited to see what you and Nathaniel have been up to these days. Love y'all! Jess Dean
allaboutthedeans.blogspot.com

Derek; Monday, April 21, 2008

Hey Alicia.

I love reading other people's blogs. I love the laziness of it all - being able to follow the lives of people I've known, even if I wouldn't ordinarily stay connected with them. I like being able to share our life with people who are interested, without having to mail Christmas letters. And I think if you're going to make public the details of your life, it can't be called stalking. It's just another magazine to read, but about someone's actual life, which is far, far more interesting.

Oh, and hey Julie! Remember when I used to sleep in the back of your car every single morning on the way to school? Good times. Thanks for the baby compliment! We think she's beautiful too, but then again, we're just a tad biased.

Oh, and you should know, Erika is not only Alicia's sister-in-law, she's also Leanne and Kjerste's cousin. =D

Ali Gronewold; Tuesday, April 22, 2008

I must say, I am a total stalker on the internet. Well, most of the ones that I read are people I know, unless it's a craft blog. I eat those up! I honestly think that if you're willing to put stuff on the internet and not have it password protected you should not only be ok with people reading it, you should EXPECT people to read it. Isn't that why people have other blogs linked to them? I always get excited when I see how many hits my craft blog gets. (Even though I am horridly terrible about updating it) but I think people should relax and maybe just not put too much personal information out there, and then you won't have to worry about it!

Margaret; Thursday, May 01, 2008
Interesting post! I guess I agree with most of the people here--if you don't want people to read your stuff, don't make it public! That being said, it was hard at first for me to blog with the knowledge that people might actually read my blog, since I often feel like my posts are sub-par! I love reading other people's blogs, though. And people are usually so nice that I'm thrilled when strangers find my site (somehow I'm way less embarrased about strangers reading what I write!).

Anna; Thursday, May 01, 2008

Hi, Alicia...this is Anna from Masters. I got here via facebook. :) I am annoyed by people who get offended when strangers or vague acquaintances read their blog. Simple solution: make your blog private! :) I'm flattered, like you, when people I knew from a long time ago take time to read my boring blog. So, here is my confession that I look at your blog once in a while. I don't even like to call it "stalking." That word sounds so creepy. I "peek in" on you and your family once in a while. :) God bless you guys with those two new kids!! God is good!

Sunday, April 6, 2008 - "The Perfect Answer to Prayer"

Well...our answer was "no" on the little girl. We actually found out the same night that I wrote the other blog, but didn't get to post until now. Sorry to keep you all in suspense. I grieved a little, but by the next day thought about what a blessing it was that we didn't get this one. The state was hoping to reunify this little girl with her teenage mom, but since the mom had a history of running away, there was a slight chance that this could be a more permanent placement. But if I was sad over not getting this little girl, imagine how I would feel if she were taken away after we grew to love her so much??

We are learning that this adoption journey is not going to be as easy as we had hoped. But what good thing in life is? I am still confident that God has the perfect little child picked out for us, whether they are born right now or not, whether they are a boy or girl, and whether it will be really easy, or terribly hard. We know we are doing the right thing, and we have the confidence in God's guidance.

We have also gotten a taste at how sudden this whole life changing event can be. I mean, both times we got the call it was late afternoon, I was minding my own business doin' my own thing, and the house was messy with my crafty projects all over the place. And then out of the blue, bam, a call that almost turns our world upside down, a call that makes everything else in life seem irrelevant and trivial. It reminds me that we really have no idea what is going to happen to us at any given moment, but we do have the confidence that the One who created us also created our life story, and while it is a surprise to us, it is no surprise to Him. So, thanks for your prayers and love, and hopefully soon we will be able to post good news, but for now, we are enjoying the time to ourselves and being a happy little family of two (plus a cute little white dog).

Brenda; Monday, April 07, 2008
You are right. You never know what is going to happen but if you always trust in God you don't have to worry. God blessed us with Jonah after a year and a half and then blessed us with Noah quickly thereafter. It was great timing for both of them. God knows when it is best. We love you all will continue to pray!!

Erika; Monday, April 07, 2008
As you said God knows what to give us, what we can handle and what is the best. I am so proud to see your attitude of faith and reliance on the Lord...it's such a big sister thing for me to see, so thank you!
Loves to you..and I'm still praying for everything.

Kjerste; Monday, April 07, 2008
Hi Alicia,
Sarah told me about your plans to adopt, so I just checked your blog and saw this post. I'm so sorry things didn't work out. We're praying for your peace of mind as you wait, and for your continued trust in God's plan for your life.

Julie; Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Alicia, You are such a trooper! I always take comfort in the fact that even though I don't know what to expect from life, God knows and He planned it out! It gives me confidence to keep going forward. Team Hawkins is praying for the Gutierrez Gang. Keep us posted!

Friday, April 4, 2008 - "Jeremiah 29:11"

"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and future.'"

Back in college, this verse became my "life verse" that I consistently had to recite to myself when it felt like every other girl was finding true love, and every other friend knew exactly what they wanted to do with their lives, and it was happening to them. I recited it to myself as I waited for the letter telling me I was going to be an RA or not. I recited it to myself when I found out that the nursing school I was applying for was too full. I recited it to myself just before Nathaniel and I went on our first date. I recited it to myself all last year when we waited to get pregnant.

And now, right now, I am reciting it to myself again. I am reciting Jeremiah 29:11 as we wait for a call back from our agency. A little girl was removed from her home today. A little, tiny 4 month old girl. A half Caucasian, half Hispanic little baby girl.

God, do you know just how perfect she would be for our family? Do you remember how much we have been praying for a baby girl who looks like us!? Do you have any idea how much we want this to happen?

Yes, actually you do. You know our hearts even better than we do. Even more, you know our future. The future that you said would be for our good, not for our harm.

And so now we wait with confidence for your will. You showed us clearly just two days ago that your will was for us to not take in that 5 year old African boy and his 4 month old sister, even though we had said, "okay, we'll take them." And you have given us the hindsight to see what a difficult thing that would have been for us. And in a few days from now, if your answer tonight is "no," you will give us the hindsight to see what a blessing this was as well. You will help us to see that your answer today was "no," but tomorrow, or next week, or next month, or next year, will be "yes," however you chose to say that. What we see as the "perfect situation" and "exactly what we asked you for" might not be what you say is the perfect situation, or what you want to give us.

All I have to do is look at Nathaniel to be reminded of what perfect gifts you give us, even when we ask for something else.

Lois; Saturday, April 05, 2008
You know that we are constantly praying for you and I'm so happy that you are putting your trust in God. We love you!

Erika; Saturday, April 05, 2008
We're praying and hoping for you. God is good. <3 Krika

Tuesday, April 1, 2008 - "I put the fool in April Fools"

For many people, their favorite holiday is Christmas, Valentine's Day, and occasionally Halloween, but for my husband, April Fool's Day is the one he enjoys the most. On this day, he gets to do his very favorite thing, pull harmless pranks on people he loves. I think I am his favorite target. Take for instance our first year of marriage when I walked into our apartment to find the door opened, all of our stuff everywhere, every drawer and door opened, and worst of all, the dog missing. After several failed attempts to call Nathaniel, my shaking hands were just about to dial 9-1-1 when he walked out, dog in arm, and sheepishly said, "April Fools." My reaction was less than gracious as I threw my cell phone down, stormed into the bathroom, and slammed the door, but it was hard to stay mad, especially while still in the bathroom I overheard him say to Bailey, "I pictured that going differently in my mind."

Since then, Nathaniel has learned less heart attack inducing ways of tricking me on April 1st, and today was no different. The thing about successful April Fool's Day jokes is that you have to play on something that is already kind of true and know what buttons to push. Let me just tell you, Nathaniel has that art down. For instance, he knew how irritatingly slow and fickle my work computer is and how often it takes several restarts to get it to work properly. Since my work computer is conveniently located two feet away from our bed, Nathaniel was able to play up one of the most irritating aspects of my job by making me think that once again, my computer had issues. I turned it on, noticing that my mouse pad was missing, did other stuff, looked for my mouse pad but was too tired to really care, and when I looked up at the computer screen, the cursor was a large hourglass, and it wouldn't move.

I irritatingly soft reset it, something that I have to do way more than I would like to, and still, same old problem. It was right about then that Nathaniel called and asked how work was going:

A: It's not, my stupid computer is frozen. And have you seen my mouse pad? I thi